


Important

by PeterHaleforAlpha



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, past 1x22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 05:03:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4087963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterHaleforAlpha/pseuds/PeterHaleforAlpha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It happened so much in the last few days and weeks that she needed someone to talk to, someone who could understand her and without thinking it had drawn her to Eddie’s apartment. And she knew that he could use someone too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Important

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElanneH](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElanneH/gifts).



“Caitlin?” Eddie raised his eyebrows as he opened the door.

The woman smiled friendly. “Hey, Eddie, I just wanted to check on you.” As Eddie looked even more confused she added: “As your doctor of course.”

“Oh, of course. Come in.” He stepped aside so that she could enter the apartment.

Caitlin has never been here. Why should she? She and Eddie were never really friends, they had mutual friends, nothing more but Caitlin felt the urge to come here. It happened so much in the last few days and weeks that she needed someone to talk to, someone who could understand her and without thinking it had drawn her to Eddie’s apartment. And she knew that he could use someone too. She heard from Iris that Eddie ended their relationship because he heard from Dr. Wells that Iris would marry Barry in the future.

“So how are you feeling?” She asked as they sat down on the couch. Out of habit she grabbed his wrist immediately and took the pulse.

“I’m … I’m fine. I’m feeling a lot better.”

“So you ate and drank properly?” Caitlin was all professional. After all she used his treatment as a cover to come here but she was also concerned like a doctor would be for his patient who dealt with something like this.

Eddie just nodded at her question.

“I’m sorry about you and Iris,” she said a little quieter. She really was. Iris and Eddie were a great couple, an amazing team but sometimes that just wasn’t enough.

“You knew about Barry, right?”

Caitlin looked up, looked in those hurt eyes. Probably he wondered how he could have been so blind. “Yeah, I knew. It’s impossible to be this close to a person and not know something like that.”

Eddie’s eyes widened and then he looked away. He also pulled his hand out of her grip.

“I’m sorry, Eddie, I didn’t mean it like that,” Caitlin immediately apologized as she realized how this must have sounded to him.

“No, it’s okay. I think I knew it too. Right from the start. The way Iris talked about him, it was right in front of me the entire time but I thought I could love her enough, that I could be enough for her.” He licked his lips. “But it was always Barry and it will always be him, there is no denying it.”

“I know they never meant to hurt you. Iris loves you – maybe not in the way you want her to, but she does. And Barry respects you and sees you as a very good friend. They never wanted to hurt you.” Caitlin reached out to touch his arm but pulled away again. Instead she tucked her hair behind her ears to hide this awkward attempt to convey some comfort.

“I know and they didn’t, not really. They just can’t change the future.” Eddie’s voice changed. Caitlin couldn’t make out what was it exactly. For that she didn’t know Eddie well enough but something told her that this wasn’t only about Iris and Barry. There was something else.

“What did Dr. Wells do to you? What did he tell you?” Dr. Wells told him about Barry and Iris, maybe there was more, something that might even be worse.

Eddie just shook his head. “Not much.”

Something in his voice told Caitlin that he was not telling the truth. But she understood. She understood how small he felt because she did too. Dr. Wells could have an enormous influence on someone. “I get that you don’t want to talk about it. I spend so much time with him and always thought that he was a great man. He was my mentor, he even became a friend to me. And then I saw who he really was and what he was capable of. I couldn’t believe it until I saw proof. I didn’t want to believe it because it meant that I would have lived a lie these past couple of years.” Caitlin bit her lip and stared on the floor. “Since he said that he made our lives better I am thinking about it. How? How could this be the better life? How worse must my other life look like if this is the good one?” She thought about losing Ronnie and everything else that happened to her. Sure there were good things too, like getting to know Cisco and Barry but there was so much pain in her life. She really didn’t want to imagine how bad this other life of her was. “So I get it”, she said finally and looked at him again. “He can get into your head even if you try to convince yourself that you are stronger than this. You want to tell yourself that he is just playing with you, that it all could be a lie and still you are thinking about his words and can’t shake them off.”

She reached out for him once more and this time she didn’t back away out of cowardliness. She laid her hand on his. “I get it, Eddie. It feels like it’s crushing you and you can’t do anything against it because they were just words, nothing you can fight.”

“How can you fight the future? How can you fight fate?” His voice sounded so lost that it broke Caitlin’s heart. She didn’t know what Wells told Eddie but it must have been bad, worse than the marriage of Iris and Barry.

“I don’t know,” she said truthfully. It was so much going on and she really wanted to help but she also was lost in this whole mess. The feeling of betrayal was so fresh and the feeling of utter failure was even bigger. She should have seen it; she should have seen what a person Wells was. She worked with him, closer than anyone. She should have noticed something. “I think we can just do our best.”

“And what if your best is not good enough?”

“What did Wells say to you?” Caitlin felt the need to ask again. Maybe now Eddie would be willing to talk about it.

“Apparently I’m not important. I won’t be remembered.” Eddie smiled a little as if he wanted to brush it off, to show that it didn’t mean anything to him. But Caitlin knew how hurt Eddie was. You could see it in his eyes. “I’m just useless.” He shrugged.

“I don’t believe that.” Caitlin tilted her head a little so that she could look Eddie straight into his eyes. “You helped Barry, you helped all of us. You are not useless.”

“What did I actually do? I stood beside him with the gun and arrested the bad guys afterwards. Barry did all the work. I did nothing and it won’t change. I will never be important.”

“Eddie, look at me.” Caitlin waited until he finally turned his head towards her. “You are important. It doesn’t matter if you accomplish anything life changing for this city or for the earth. It doesn’t matter how big your achievements are. It only matters that you help people and you do that, Eddie. I’ve never seen you run away from danger. You run towards it, to help the people who needs saving.”

Eddie remained silent but at least he didn’t argue her words. She smiled friendly at him. “You are brave and you help your friends. There is nothing more you have to do.”

Eddie returned the smile. “You’re probably right.”

Caitlin felt a little proud of herself. Eddie smiled because of her. “Yes, I am. We love you, Eddie, and we don’t want you to change.”

“Thanks, Caitlin.” Gratitude lay in his eyes and there was this spark in them that Caitlin loved. She couldn’t imagine how anyone could think that Eddie Thawne was not good enough. He had everything that you could wish for. Everything that made a good friend.

And Caitlin asked herself why she didn’t notice sooner how incredible special Eddie was. She valued him as a member of their team, that was sure but she never looked closely enough to see how unique he was. “You’re welcome. I’m glad I could help.”

“You did. You are a really good friend.” And then Eddie pulled her into a tight embrace. Caitlin returned the gesture and stroked gently over his back.  She rested her head on his shoulder and just enjoyed the proximity.

“You too.” She pulled away. “And never forget that ever again.”

“Promise.” He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and looked deep into her eyes. “I won’t.”


End file.
